Invited to an iftar? Here’s what to expect.

A few things you might be wondering before attending your first Ramadan meal

Recently a friend and colleague reached out to me letting me know she’d been invited to an iftar by a local Muslim organization. An iftar is the evening meal which breaks a Muslim’s daylong fast during the holy month of Ramadan, and it is often a communal and celebratory affair. My friend, who is Catholic, had never been to an iftar before, and wanted to know what to expect, what to wear, and how to comport herself. The post below is an adapted version of my email response to her. While it is certainly not exhaustive, I hope it’s helpful for those who are prepping to attend their first iftar.

I’m glad you’ll be attending an iftar! This year I’m not able to make them because of the kids’ bedtime conflicting, but these gatherings are always really enjoyable.

After you arrive there will probably be time to mingle until the fast breaks (sunset), when there will be a ‘call to prayer’ (azan) and folks will break their fast with a date and water. You’ll be invited to partake, too. Then the Muslim folks might do their salat prayer, which you can likely observe. (If you’re not sure where to go to observe, ask someone.) After the prayer will be the dinner, and I imagine there will be speakers at different points throughout the evening, too. This is the typical way things go when I’ve been to Iftars at Georgetown and elsewhere in DC, but it could always be different.

As for what to wear, whatever you’d wear to church or a professional setting is fine—preferably long sleeves and pants/skirt, which given the weather right now is probably what you’d wear anyway. No need to wear or bring a scarf—it would only be necessary if you were going to join in the salat prayer. I doubt you’ll be removing shoes because it sounds like this event isn’t in a mosque.

As for comportment, (and you may already know this, but) some Muslim men, out of modesty, do not shake hands with women who aren’t relatives, so I’d wait to have men initiate a handshake before you do. If they don’t reach out to shake hands, a gesture of putting your hand on your heart is common. Many Muslim men do shake hands, or hug even, so it really depends on the person. As a rule of thumb, I wait for them to initiate.

Ahead of the Iftar, you might enjoy this podcast on the spiritual dimensions of the Ramadan fast. A few wonderful scholars I know/follow were interviewed for it, and I found it very enriching. I imagine that, at the iftar itself, the hosts will tell you more about Ramadan and practices of reading the Qur’an, additional prayers, fasting, etc. too.

You might also like to read the Vatican Dicastery for Interreligious Dialogue’s 2025 message to Muslims for Ramadan. Here’s the link. I particularly like this line, which rings true to my own experience of witnessing Muslims celebrate Ramadan over the years: “More than simply a month of fasting, Ramadan appears to us Catholics as a school of inner transformation.”

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In the comments, I invite readers to join me in ‘digging our well’:

If you’re Muslim or have been to an iftar yourself, what else would you add? Is there anything I got wrong? What do you enjoy about iftars? What is your favorite part?

For those who haven’t been to one before, what other questions do you have?